June 17, 2013

Smell Like a Hokie!

A VT fragrance? Yeah, so this is a thing now. And just like their football team, it will get the girl back to your dorm room, get her all hyped up, and then disappear at the most important moment and leave you wishing for next week.

There will be choices of three perfumes for women, and three for men, and the kids will decide just what they all want to smell like. Early name choices include:
  1. Hokie Triump (seriously, they spelled it wrong)
  2. Skipper (as in shower-skipper?)
  3. VT Strong.
But we think more research is needed, so we've offered to help. With a bottle shaped like an empty trophy case, we suggest focus groups weigh in on the following scent options:
  • Eau de Felonious
  • Academic Suspension
  • ManĂ©ur
  • Disappointment for Women
  • Emptiness for Him
  • National Title No. 0

As the newscast mentions, finding an aroma befitting of a Hokie is a "whole different animal," so why not an animal? Sheep pheromones anyone? Although I believe a Deadspin comment captured the sentiments much better than anyone else by simply stating "I hate my alma mater."


Just like the football team, just can't seem to finish the word "triumph."