Simply Horrifying

These Eyes Have Seen Tragedy, Kid

Look kid, we'd sob uncontrollably too if we had to sit next to a creepy old guy with a thousand-yard stare. Seriously, the man may as well be at a funeral. Don't get excited, Frank.

Deadspin has the full video of the ol' coach terrifying a toddler, her crying uncontrollably, and Franky-B giving zero f*cks.

Oh and 6? Oh, so close!

Buzz, your team has a losing record, is 0-6 in the conference...but you find yourself with a lead with almost 13 minutes to go? What do you do, hot shot? That's right...dance, baby, dance!

Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? Not like it's the first time a Jokie coach has celebrated a meaningless feat too early.

Worst Loss, Ever.

Ouch. The statistics are uglier than the championship shirts the Jokies have been peddling.

( click image for full Deadspin article )

Tuesday Update: Seriously, We Weren't Kidding

Seriously, we weren't kidding. The Jokies fans honestly think they've somehow returned to relevance and contention after being the inexplicable bug that escaped Ohio State's windshield.

This is making the rounds all over social media, and they're proud of it:

And oh yeah, they're printing shirts! Rednecks are shelling out $19 to celebrate a September football game:

NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

The day has come! The day has come! Thank god almighty, the day has come! After waiting for well over a decade, the Jokies can finally lay claim to a moral victory national championship. What's that you say? They just completed a 6-6 regular season and won some afterthought of a bowl game?

Nonsense. When your delusions of grandeur are so great you construct an empty trophy case, you better believe your transitive property game is strong as well.

Jokies beat Ohio State. Ohio State is the national champion. Ipso facto, THE JOKIES ARE THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!